"We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open." ~ Jawaharal Nehru

Friday, September 14, 2012

A new beginning...

I really struggled with the latest move. Many of you who know me who think "Eh, she's such an adventurous, gungho, go-getter. Song would be no problem for her". In reality, I really did. I might look all cheery & smiley externally, but deep down, it was angst & uncertainty

Why you might ask?

  • Firstly, this is gonna be my 6th relocation in my 9 years of service. I'm getting tired of moving. The packing, unpacking, saying good bye to old friends and starting all over making new ones. Basically, the process of starting all over from scratch again. I think it's time for some permanence. Time to grow some roots. Time to have somewhere I can finally call MY HOME.  As much as I enjoy the nomadic lifestyle, I want to be grounded somewhere where I can grow and blossom.
  • Secondly, I did not struggle through my 4 years doing my Masters and spent $$$$$ (yes, it was 5 figures!) on the FRACGP exams only to find that my career path has sorta regressed. I pursued my Masters in search of personal significance and recognition in the medical field. I did it to prove to myself that I could do something, be someone! Now, for all I know, I might just be bypassed due to the ruralness of my current location.
  • Those of you who have been praying for me and praying with me regarding my post-Masters posting choices know that I listed Keningau, Sabah as my location of choice. I was offered 3 options, namely Kapit, Lawas & Keningau as there was much need for a family physician (FP) in these places. After much prayer and seeking Him, I had peace that Keningau was the place. This was supported and encouraged by other loved ones who got down on their knees to pray for His direction & wisdom as I planned my next career move. Unfortunately, He works in mysterious ways and I can only surrender to Him as He unfolds His purposes for me here.
  • Lastly, as cliche as it might sound to you, I hate being a government pawn! I asked the officer in charge of postings at the MOH why I was assigned this place and all she could tell me was "Takkan kita nak hantar doktor yang dah kahwin dan ada family"! Why should I be victimised for being single???!!!. I informed her that even though I was single, it was my duty as the eldest child to care for my folks and therefore needed a location where I had access to specialised health care for them. She retorted "Ibu bapa tidak dikira, hanya suami dan anak". Does this mean I'm to leave them in the old folks or retirement home as I traipse around the Batang Rejang area? 

So then began the tedious task of appealing. I've tried all methods. From personal sob stories on why I should not be posted here to sitting outside so-and-so's cushy office in Putrajaya so I can make a personal, face-to-face appeal. Heck I've even gone to the state health director of the place I wanted to be posted (they had vacancies and urgently needed FPs there) and wrangled a support letter from him. I even when as far as approaching a certain political group to get the Minister's help. Alas, all this proved futile and I only ended up being more angry and disillusioned.

In the end, all I could do was

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